Really, it seemed like just yesterday when i left home. And to think that i’ve left malaysia for nearly a whole year already. Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, and days turned into months. Not an easy feat, but I’m still very proud of myself. I’ve achieved what I aimed for here, and more importantly I survived everything on my very own.

Independence and self survival (haha, it’s not that serious of course) are very important things to me. Family members and close friends know that I really loathe depending on others to reach for the stars. ‘Stepping stones’ might be a big no no to me, but well I’ve learnt to cope.

There were times when I felt aimless and purposeless. I was frustrated to the very core, and didn’t even realise the existence of good things around me! I was selfish and indulged in my own foolish self, and I boycotted myself from the rest of the world. I stopped socialising, and only went to events that I really needed to make an appearance. Sounds like I was quite an arrogant idiot hey?

I desperately needed a break, a breather or something. From everything, even from the world! Like a lost child who was looking for her mother in a crowded street of thousands, I was really terrified. Terrified beyond imagination and I’m not joking. I was greatly lost. 

And then came the biggest thing of my life. The great truth, I shall call it. The great truth that I’ve always had nasty dreams about. The great truth that I’ve always wondered about. The great truth that I’ve always questioned about. Although I’ve always anticipated the coming of it, the surprise attack of it completely shocked me. In both good and bad ways.

I missed the old me, the happy me. 

Have you heard of Murphy’s Laws? It sounds like this, “when shit comes, all shit comes in the worst possible ways at the same time”. Sounds fun?

But I persevered, thanks to the encouragement of family and friends. And now that I’m done with that period of my life, I’ve vowed to never let it bring me down ever again. I made a promise to love more, and to forgive more. Most importantly, I’ve learnt how to let go and see the good sides of people. I’m still learning how to be less pessimistic about life though. Capricorns, you can do it!

I’ve fallen in love with myself all over again. It’s a great reunion, it truly is.

p/s do enjoy cny on my behalf. Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Do remember to go home for reunion dinners if you can!

3 Comments »

1. 

   *applause*

   Comment by Zephyr — January 24, 2009 @ 7:57 pm

2. 

   life is rough only if you perceive it to be. i actually think your life in brissy is good =D. sure there are ups and downs but i think overall, your life is still pretty darn good . i try to see that in my own life also. it’s easier said than done but hey i’ve got your back when the going gets tough ok?

   Comment by chunghui — January 24, 2009 @ 8:13 pm

3. 

   Nevermind lah YZ. We’ll be back for Chap Goh Meh anyways.

   Comment by Zephyr — January 25, 2009 @ 9:18 pm

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